


it has always been you

by AnnieJ



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Confession, Denial of Feelings, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, I love markhyuck, M/M, adorable mark denying his feelings, donghyuck knows, little angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 22:47:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17068628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnieJ/pseuds/AnnieJ
Summary: Mark gets flustered a lot because of Donghyuck lately. He doesn’t know why.Maybe he does.He just doesn’t want to know why.





	it has always been you

**Author's Note:**

> i havent written in so long so maybe this is shitty but i’m drunk again and my haechan is sick and i cant go on without crying today i just cant so i drinkand wrote this. Enjoy.

Its Sunday.  
at the dorm it usually means that they have their time off today and that they got to stay in bed until the afternoon.

Mark is up early today, he runs his hands through his hair. Its sweaty, the weather is too hot and he really does needs to take a shower.

Mark’s been waiting outside the bathroom, but Hyuck’s really taking too long.  
He doesn’t even shower when they came home after practices and his bath usually only took 10 minutes, so why does he has too take a long bath now? it’s been an hour and Mark just seriously could not take it anymore.

He bangs the door.  
once. twice.  
there’s no answer.  
One more time.

When he tries to shout at Hyuck, the door opens. Mark stops, hand still up in the air. His body freezes.  
Hyuck is only wearing his towel around his waist and Mark jumps, literally.  
There’s so much going on in his mind and somehow Hyuck knows what they are, so he rolls his eyes.  
“What? have you not seen me like this? we live together, idiot.”

Mark wants to argue and say something, but there’s no words coming out of his mouth because somehow its true.  
Why does he gets so embarrassed about things that should be normal between them? and why does it has to be Hyuck that’s making him like this? Only Hyuck? Even the fans are picking up on this. They know that he got flustered a lot lately because of Hyuck.  
Mark is really starting to think that he’s already out of his mind.

 

 

 

Mark forgets to wash his hair that day.

-

Mark practices a lot. he knows that. but it’s really because people also expects a lot from him. He’s known as the prodigy. SM’s future. Mark stays in this cycle.

It’s usually like this. He doesn’t finish until he gets it right. Not just right, but perfect. His bones started to hurt until the pain is numb and he’ll start all over again. Sometimes, after going back to the dorm, he can’t really feel his legs anymore. He’s so so tired.

It’s 11.30 PM, and the door opens. Strange? it’s usually just him at this hour.

But its the younger boy again, the one that makes him catches his breath even when he’s not doing anything. It’s Hyuck with a plastic bag on his hands.  
Mark couldn’t catch his face and expression because it’s too dark.  
“Hi, what are you doing here?” he says. Hyuck sometimes visits him at this hour to check on him, but lately Donghyuck gets tired easily. Mark was not expecting him today too, they did have a lot on their clock.

“Have you eaten yet?” Hyuck asks, voice soft, yet he’s not looking at Mark’s face, but the floor instead. He looks so soft though, with the purple sweater that is too big for him and the fluffy sandals.  
Mark stays quiet, the words are failing him again as usual when it comes to Donghyuck.   
Hyuck rolls his eyes when he doesn’t get an answer and he walks closer to him. 

Why is he nervous? it’s just Hyuck..?

“Nah, i’ll eat tomorrow morning at the dorm” he finally got the words out of him and that’s his usual answer, Hyuck should know this too. Yet, why does he looks so sad?

“Idiot. Eat first. then practice for half an hour more. i’ll wait outside.” Hyuck throws the plastic bag at him.  
It’s not usual for Hyuck to tell him what to do, especially if its about practice. Yet he doesn’t want to protest. Mark gives him a nod and Hyuck smiles at him before he turns back and leaves the room.

It’s the usual smile that he gave to Mark everytime. But this one hits Mark harder than ever, he turns red and his ears burns.  
Just.. what is wrong with him?

Mark leaves the practice room at 11.49 after eating the onigiri that Hyuck bought. The building is already dark, and he’s surprised to find Hyuck sleeping outside in the hallway. Mark didn’t expect him to really wait for him for his practice, he thought that Hyuck will wait for him at the dorm, as usual.

Looking at the younger boy, peacefully sleeping in the corner while waiting for him makes his heart burts. His heart could not take this. It’s getting too much of him.  
When he tries to wake Hyuck up with touching his face, his hand burns again.

Somehow it wakes him up, and Hyuck greets him with a soft smile. Mark really could not take this anymore.  
“Hey, done already?”  
Mark nods, still flustered to say anything at the younger boy.

“You did well today too, Hyung.” Hyuck smiles widely at him, like Mark has just done something remarkable when it’s just practice. It caught Mark off guard again. It took every piece of him to not kiss the younger boy right then. He plants his feet to the floor. Cursing himself. Worried that he’ll does something he’ll regret if he takes a step forward.

Hyuck must’ve noticed something too because he furrowed his eyebrows, eyes searching, finding something Mark’s yet to discover.

Then he smiles and giggles like he just got a confirmation just by looking at Mark’s face. Mark’s afraid that he really did gave something away.

“Let’s go home, hyung.”  
Hyuck says, opening his hand for Mark to hold. Mark does.

 

 

-

Mark practices until late again. Today, their manager told him that he’s not at his best lately, told him that he messed up a lot these days.

That really took a toll on him.  
11.59 PM.

1 Missed Call from Taeyong Hyung.  
“Mark, please come home, there are bad days, even for you. and it’s not true. You’re still amazing today. Don’t overwork yourself, please.”

1 Missed Call from Bunny Hyung  
“Hey kiddo, please come home soon. The hyungs are worried for you. We bought pizza, your favorite. It’s on the freezer. Taeil hyung is really worried, please don’t hurt yourself too much.”

1 Missed Call from Jaemini  
“Hyung, Doyoung Hyung called because he’s worried about you. Today you did great. one mistake is alright hyung. please don’t give yourself this burden.”

Mark never cries, he just doesn’t. It just really gets hard at times.

Mark replies all the messages calmly. His hands trembles from all the dancing he does.

He takes deep breath and puts his phone when the door opens.  
It’s Donghyuck. And seeing Hyuck is too much for him right now. His eyes burns, his heart burns, his head burns. He never cries. He doesn’t.

There’s panic in Hyuck’s eyes but he’s fast to hide it. Mark catches it well though, he knows Hyuck better, knows that he hides his emotions and worries to calm Mark.  
“Hyung. You okay?”  
Hyuck is too close. He’s invading his safe space like he belongs there. Putting a hand on Mark’s skin like it belongs there. It’s too much.

“Yeah, I’m good.” Mark lies through his teeth, and he knows that Hyuck could tell. He is not an idiot. He knows him too well.

“Liar. you’re overworking yourself again. Why? because that stupid manager hyung that none of us like comments on your stage today? You messed up one word, Hyung. Nobody fucking cares!”  
Mark holds his breath. How can one person read him like an open book? How can he be the only one that does this too easily?

“Hyung, the thing that you don’t know is that even though you’re good at a lot of things, you think people are expecting everything from you. The truth is, they fucking don’t. I know you’re seen as the prodigy and genius by a lot of stupid people, but most of the people that loves you knows that you work hard. Harder than everyone else. That’s why you got here. That’s why you’re very much loved. That’s why. Not because you’re a fucking genius that try to do something and the magically succeed on doing so, but because you break your skin and bones for it. You put your soul and body for it. You work harder than everyone else.”

Hyuck’s really too much for him.  
Mark could handle a lot of things, but not this. not him.  
Hyuck is making him all the things at once, and Mark wants nothing but him.  
Mark doesn’t even dare to see Hyuck’s face. He might really do something that’s too dangerous for the both of them.

Mark just tries to breathe.

But when he does, all he gets is the smell of Hyuck’s shampoo. His lavender perfume.  
Funny how there’s no safe place to hide his feelings anymore.

Even now, Hyuck is still trying to get to him. Ripping pieces that’s left on Mark’s body. Taking him in. Every part of him. Even though there’s not much of it left.

Hyuck is crying. Mark promises himself that he’ll punch anyone that makes Donghyuck cry. and yet here he is on the other side of the line.  
“Stop. you need to stop this. You’re hurting yourself— i could not see you like this anymore, hyung, please—“

-  


 

 

5 years ago, Donghyuck and Mark met in a small room of SM’s old building. Hyuck is one noisy kid. He’ll hold Mark’s arm till the point of it being annoying and he’ll never leave Mark alone.  
Even after 5 years, he still doesn’t.  
Even now, after practices, at night when Mark’s sick, right now, when it’s fucking hard to breathe—“  
-

Mark is stupid for the younger boy, he knows it, the hyungs knows it, Hyuck probably knows it too, the fans know it, hell, the whole world could probably tell too if they look at him.

He’s stupid and he’ll probably get kicked by Hyuck after this but he can’t hear him cry anymore, it’s hurting every piece of his body. Piercing his bones until he bleeds inside. He’s hurting too much. 

He just wants Donghyuck to stop crying, and his body moves even though his mind screams and begs him to stop.

Mark kisses him. 

At 12.03 AM. The building is already dark, there’s no one except him and the younger boy that he loves too much to make him cry like this.

Its 12.04 AM. Donghyuck stops crying. he kisses Mark back, desperate, they’re moving too fast. Hyuck holds Mark’s shirt like he’s afraid to lose him after this, Mark kisses him like he’s telling him that he will not. Mark’s hands are everywhere, under Hyuck’s shirt, on his cheeks, on the back of his neck. It still burns, yet Mark always thinks he deserves it.

Mark’s still stupid, but he doesn’t kiss like he’ll regret this in the morning. He kisses like it is the only night he has left with the boy that makes him happier than anyone else.

It’s also an honest confession.

Mark’s telling Hyuck that he will. Stay.  
Like Hyuck does.  
For him.

 

Always.

 

-

 

 

It’s 7.04 AM

16 Missed Calls from Taeyong Hyung  
“Where the hell are you?”  
“Hyuck’s gone too?”  
“Mark?”  
“MARK LEE??? ANSWER ME”

“Hey, i just hope you guys are safe.”  
“Please stop being an idiot when you’ve been searching for one thing only and that one thing is right in front of you”

“i gave up.”  
“thank God you have Hyuck with you or you’ll be dead”

 

“Thank God hyuck has you beside him too.”  
“You’re everything to him.”

 

 

13 Missed Calls from Bunny Hyung  
“I hope you guys find what you’re looking for.”

**Author's Note:**

> i hope u guys like it if u did please comment to ease my lonely life that will consist of no donghyuck until next year maybe.... hhh I AM SO SAD


End file.
